By George Streeter Relationship Coach
What is desire? Philosophers have been debating the question since antiquity. It is defined as “ to strongly wish for or want something” . The word has synonyms like: crave, yearn, covet, long, lust, will or wish. And yet none of the synonyms alone adequately describe the feeling a woman has when you express the true nature of your desire for her in a way that makes her feminine heart flutter.
For a woman, that feeling of being desired is more encompassing than lust, more gracious than coveting, more nourishing than yearning, more solid that wishing and less expectant that willing. The words used to define desire seem to have the object of our desire in a less than connected relationship to the one desiring. Obviously this is not your goal or hers.
In romance desire can be seen as the will to devour and consume one’s beloved with the grace to suffer the yearning of wanting indefinitely. It means feeling the hunger to devour and consume and living in that feeling in a gracious spacious manner. To a woman this is a total turn on. To a man this is as hard as doing… handstand scorpion yoga pose. Not sure what I am talking about… check it out then.
Nicole Daedone, founder and leader of Onetaste, which practices and teaches Orgasmic Meditation, says that the feeling of both having and wanting ( true desire) comes from being full on orgasm and living life in flow. Orgasm being your life force sexual energy and flow being well flow. The formula looks something like this :
Desire + Flow(grace) = a full orgasm.
Being full on orgasm keeps ones desire from feeling like hunger. See my blog post on Hunger vs Desire Part 1.
To simplify, hunger and desire differ in expectation. Desire is all the hunger without the nasty agitated, goal oriented maneuvering that she feels as “yucky” in her body. Desire allows sexual tension to build organically, and it radiates a sense of contentment enjoying every excruciating movement of longing for her. Longing that is free of resentment. Get it? Got it… Good!
Desire plays with and feeds off of anticipation. Spoken desire mixed with anticipation is a pleasantly lethal combination that women find hard to resist. This is called building desire and it is key to a woman’s happiness and her feelings of being sexy and desired by you.
The longer and more familiar your relationship with a woman is, the more you will need to work on building desire through anticipation.
Here are a few tips to build desire:
- Tell her something you are grateful for about her.
- Thank her for being in your life.
- Show her an appreciation.
- Offer to do something nice, to contribute without her asking.
- Buy a small gift for no reason at all.
And most importantly…
Tell her when you desire her sexually the moment you feel it… and do nothing else but allow her to bask your feelings for her. Wait in your desire and she will find you irresistible.
- Hunger vs. Desire: Only One Leads To Hot Sex -Part 1 (georgestreeter.wordpress.com)