Archives For November 2013

By George Streeter, Relationship Coach

http://www.georgestreeter.com

Overt and frequent communication around sex is the only way to ensure you are getting the truth about how good you are in bed.  When I ask men the question, “How do you know if you are pleasing to a woman in bed?” I often get the same nervous defensive answer from them, “Well she hasn’t told me I am doing anything wrong.” I reply, “Has she told you that you were doing anything well?” a question to which I usually receive silence.

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As I teach men and women how to reach their erotic potential in my seminars (click here for more information), a class will often come to a screeching halt as I reveal the truth around sex and communication in a typical relationship.

The truth is this: Women don’t tell us the truth about what they want more of, what they don’t want any more of, or what they feel needs to be improved in sex, because they fear bruising your ego.

As I lead the discussion, woman after woman confesses that she doesn’t make requests in bed or ask for something different from her lover because she is:

Concerned you will get angry

Concerned she will hurt you

Concerned your ego will be bruised

Concerned your cock will not get hard

Women would rather endure your unskillful touch than tell you the truth. This is because you haven’t given her overt permission to tell you the truth in bed. If you want to create an atmosphere where your sex life can be truly hot, raunchy, and uninhibited, then create intimacy with honest dialogue around the topic of sex.

Here is how to make your sex life uninhibited and super hot:

1. Give her permission to tell you what she likes in sex.

Women are afraid to hurt your ego, so they will often change the subject or avoid answering directly when you ask the question, “How is our sex life?” so don’t ask. Before your next hot make-out, give her permission to speak frankly, openly, and honestly about every aspect of your sex life.

2. Talk about sex outside of the bedroom.

Talking about sex is something women love to do! Give them an opportunity to say their thoughts around the subject. Women are conditioned to believe that sex talk with a man must necessarily lead to sex. Talking about sex in a situation where an innocent conversation remains a conversation.

3. Don’t get angry or hurt.

If you do, it will reinforce her fear that telling you the truth about your sexual ability will alter the relationship for the worse and she will never tell you the complete truth. She will need to be coaxed into delivering the awful, awful thoughts that will bring her into greater ecstasy. And believe me, the idea of bruising your sexy animal is a far greater fear than unsatisfying sex. 

4 Be playful around sex.

The more light-hearted you are around the issue of sex, the more sexual confidence you exude and the more space you create for her to be honest with you on the topic. Remember, you are creating an atmosphere of honesty so that you can have a hotter more connected sex life. What is so serious about that? Stay playful.

5 Tell her your hurts, before they become resentments.

Let her know what you like and don’t like as well. This will relax her in bed. She can feel your emotions even if you don’t tell her what you are thinking. Speak what you are feeling, because if you don’t she will think your withhold is about her and feel self-conscious with you. Being self-conscious is the opposite of being uninhibited.

Be the 1 of 100 men to do these tips and see how quickly your sex life moves from mediocre to marvelous.

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By George Streeter, Relationship Coach

http://www.georgestreeter.com

Here are three ways to increase your chances of getting a phone number or a date when approaching a woman.

The single best thing to remember when approaching a woman is be in vibrational resonance with her before you speak to her.

Let me paint a picture. You are in a sarcastic and playful mood and you walk up to a perky blonde. She is excited about her sexy new dress, having a great time out with friends, and feeling good.  Whatever the reason, she is happy and you are sarcastic; you are both in two totally different zip codes.

From here there is nothing you can say from your neighborhood to reach her effectively and nothing she can say to you that would reach you from her zip code. From your perspective, her happiness looks a bit fraudulent and from her point of view, your sarcasm feels mean and resentful.

The key is that someone has to change zip codes (shift mood) to get into vibrational frequency with the other.

Switching “zip codes” can happen in an instant when there is mutual physical attraction or some sort of deep connection. When this instant love connection happens both parties become one and speak, talk and radiate on the same frequency.  That type of connection doesn’t happen everyday, most often we miss each other and two people often struggle to make contact with one another.

Here are three tips to get into vibrational frequency with any woman you choose:

1. Know thyself

Check your frequency before you approach.  Look for women that match your current present moment reality.  If you are playful or sarcastic, look for someone who appears to have a cause. If she is in the center of her crew giving a rousing speech. she is supporting a cause. Your playfulness will fit well with her passion and willingness to be less self-absorbed. Playful challenging goes a long way here.

2. Be authentic to your feelings

When you approach a woman don’t try to fake being in an emotional place you are not. Don’t feign seriousness when you are jovial or vice versa. Let your true feelings be expressed. This allows a woman to get a clear read on who you are in that moment.  It’s one thing to know tip 2 “know thyself” and another thing to act from what you know. Whether you are feeling tender, or mischievous, insecure or confident, trusting or suspicious, recognize where you are on your own emotional playing field. A woman is better able to feel you when your inner frequency matches what you show the world. Acting happy when you feel less than happy will feel awkward to you both.

3. If you lock eyes don’t waste time.

This is the adage that you accelerate on a green light. Women say a lot though nonverbal communication. Looking for cues will go along way to making you better at connecting with women. When you think she is checking you out and you see a cue like her locking eyes with you, act on it without wasting time building your courage. That glance was meant for you and your mood of the moment. Don’t change your mood worrying; “just make a move” as Tony Robbins would say.

These simple perspectives will help you appear confident and charismatic in her mind.

www.georgestreeter.com

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By Coach George Relationship Coach

http://www.georgestreeter.com/

The tale tell signs I have of when I am lost in my own thoughts are the reflections I receive from those around me.  Here are a few cues to let you know when you are less present with others and trapped in your own thoughts and what to do about it the next time it happens to you.  You are probably in stuck in your own head when”

1.  You become sensitive and just about anything anyone else says or does irritates you.

If you notice that the the way your best friend says “you want a cup of coffee?” is suddenly making you want to pour the cup of coffee on his head, then it would be safe to say you are in preoccupied by your own thoughts. Why would one react with irritation at a simple request? Because when you get lost in your own thoughts it creates a backlog. Life and relationships don’t stop when you go inside yourself.  We feel the pressure to respond to our present moment surroundings without the mental space to do it, because we have too many mental tabs open in our own mind.  It’s like a computer trying to process information with too many applications running. However, unlike life, a computer can freeze until its processing catches up. We can’t do that so we explode on others.

2.  You lose perspective on time

Choosing to day dream is much different than being trapped in one’s own thoughts. The former produces pleasure and the latter produces mental gaps in recollection of our day.  When you day dream, the fantasy fills one with a sensation. A feeling of pleasure, strength or even fear and loneliness. You have a sense that your mind took you on a roller coaster ride, you may not like the ride but you can account for the time.

When you are trapped in your thoughts, time slips away. It passes through your fingers like sand and you have no idea where the time has gone. There is a feeling of confusion about how the time was spent. For some people, being lost in thought can go on for days and weeks. It is a feeling like you are walking around in a fog. Or walking around in the dark in with a candle that doesn’t quite light well enough to see your next step. At this point some action should be taken to get back into the light again.

3. People are talking to you, but you can’t register what they are saying or feeling

This is a tough one to recognize without “cold water in the face” reality of another person, most often that person is a partner. When she says, “you are not paying attention”,  “you are not understanding” , “you are not getting it” or “I am not speaking anymore cause you can’t hear me” she is saying eh hm “TURN OFF YOUR THOUGHTS AND PAY ATTENTION TO ME!” read this

It is best to close some programs at this point and listen or get vulnerable and say your concerns and fears around the thoughts you are holding.

How do you unlock your mind and get unstuck from thoughts?  Try these tips:

1.  Get moving

Body movement creates a new circuit in the brain that can pause circular thoughts. The nice thing is any movement can unlock your thoughts. You don’t need to be a marathon runner to take advantage of this. Simply pace in your office,  walk around the block or dance to music. Exercise and yoga are all great ways to get your body moving and to clear your head.  If you are in pinch for time try 10 jumping jacks and 10 toe touches, my particular favorites. Moving will short circuit your mental blockage.

2. Mediation

Spending a few moments relaxing and getting centered is a great way to slow the heart rate and operate your system at slower pace. The change from frenetic energy to soothing energy will help your thoughts slow down. Slowing your thoughts gives you more space to feel the emotion of your thoughts and react in accordance with your highest intentions. Slowing down keeps you from over reacting.  Try a sitting mediation, they can be done anywhere and is a good practice for developing mindfulness.

3. Get Inspired

Reading your favorite quotes, listening to music that moves you and writing can all help you change the dialogue in your head. We get stuck in our heads when we resist the thoughts in our head, that is we don’t want to feel the emotions associated with the thoughts. This sort of disconnection from our emotions is exhausting and makes one feel tense and edgy.  In some way we are not honoring those emotions within us. We make things worse when we project our dishonoring behavior onto those around us.  Inspiration are thoughts that feed up with good feelings. And you guessed it!, feelings are emotions. Inspiration is a way to enjoy thoughts that sink deep down inside of us and nurture us with feelings of pleasure.

4. Laugh

Laughter is a remedy for a lot of what ails us.  according to Socrates laughter is a mixture of both pain and pleasure.  Our emotions and reason react with opposite reactions, the former feelings of pleasure and amusement and the later touches upon our justice or political correctness. This means that laughter touches reason in a place that allows you to laugh at things that may not be totally appropriate. This gives your mind enough of a reason to let go of its serious attachment to its preoccupation. In other words, you are taken out of your head when you laugh, and when you go back to those thoughts you will have more levity.

Every here the story about the guy who bought a brand new jeep Cherokee and sunk it a frozen lake in Michigan while Ice fishing with dynamite?  Its funny and horrible making it grate our sensibilices and tickle our funny bone.

These tips will help you get out of your own head and help you to be more present. Try them the next time you get feedback that you are preoccupied.