By George Streeter Relationship coach- for more info email firstname.lastname@example.org
“Out with the old and in with the new” it is a New Years saying that refers to starting “new relationships, challenges, adventures, realities, successes, goals, etc.” and moving away from old habits, thoughts, and feelings that block us from attracting and receiving… well something new!
It is time of year that our energies are refocused on committing to be our better selves, the people we know we are right before we aren’t. For me that happens when I get that third cookie out of the cookie jar right before dinner. Ouch! why did I do that?
There is not growth without change. Change can be hard to navigate, especially when you are going through a much-needed change on your own. Seeking the help of a trusted friend or your relationship partner can sometimes create a strain on that relationship. Finding people you can be with as you grow, is a real blessing.
Sometimes, it is the littlest problems that trip us up the most. I have a friend who struggles with feeling accepted by others. And no matter how much good he does, or how much others say they appreciate him, he still feels under appreciated. This affects the quality of his relationships because he finds himself feeling short-tempered and frustrated because he feels his needs are not being met.
From his vantage point, his hunger for acceptance is only met with ambivalence, but he has love all around him. What is going on? This is his reality, his internal feelings are real, and sometimes he does support his internal state by acting a bit aloof. The shift for him is to operate as if he has all the love and connection he wants, until his internal state begin to register that truth. This shift comes from his behavior and not exclusively from focussing on his internal state.
To make change, to “bring something in” that is “new” my friend must change the way he operates in the world, this will change the way he perceives the world and of course the way the world perceives him.
This is what coaching does, we work on “bringing in the new”. I help to motivate, guide and help people towards their own personal change. This happens confidentially, in an atmosphere of approval. For some it is not a big change, or therapy that they are looking for just some clear coaching/mentoring from someone who can help support their growth.
- Making New Year’s Resolutions That Stick! (larazakaria.com)